fetal attraction

I had a ton of errands to run today. Reserve the church, reserve the reception venue, get cable for the other house, etc. After running all my errands, I decided to pass by a friend who i heard just got pregnant. We hadn't had the time to swap stories about her pregnancy and my engagement and this would be the perfect time for that.

Turned out she had a miscarriage the week before (it took me forever but i finally figured out the english word for "nakunan" hehehe). So we ended up discussing my engagement and her operation to get the rest of the baby out. And then she asked me if I would wanna see the fetus.

Would you actually wanna see a dead fetus (stored in a gerber bottle)? Would you wanna see something that died inside of someone? Would you wanna see something from which nightmares, horror stories and bad dreams are made of? Ughhhh... Just the thought gives me the creeps and ye,t ironically, i said yes.

I looked at it from a safe distance (as if it were gonna return to life and bite me). It looked like a bean in a thin red sauce. A big bean. Actually, I didn't stare, I couldn't stare. Something was pushing me away from it. I looked for like two seconds and waved it away. I just satisfied my curiousity. But still the idea. Ughhhh...

After seeing the bottle, I lost my appetite for dinner. Still gives me the creeps thinking about it. I hope I don't dream of it tonight.

meet the parents

We had a family dinner at le souffle earlier. First family dinner in so and so months (or years. i can't remember). My dad, mom, bro and me when out to dinner so that my parents could meet lou's mom and her sister to talk about wedding details.

I was expecting something horribly wrong to take place. Something disastrous along the lines of "Meet the Parents." But it just turned out to be a quiet family dinner. Little was actually said about the wedding. All that was said was we had a free reign on whatever decision we wanna make.

Now that we got that out of the way, it's time to prepare. The next few months will be hell. I hope I survive.

millions for bantay bata

Last June, I gave a very important privelege speech during our Sangguniang Bayan session. It was about the baranggay clearance being requested by a high school here in Angono. Point one of my speech was, the baranggay clearance being requested was from Baranggay Kalayaan (where the school was). That didn't make sense. How could a baranggay clear you of any wrong doings if you didn't live there? How would a baranggay in Quezon City know if I would have had a criminal record. Didn't make sense. Second point, I don't think, baranggay clearances are applicable to minors. Third point, they didn't issue out receipts to whoever asked for the clearance. That was like P50,000 easy, unaccounted for money extremely prone to corruption.

Six months later, the committee report surfaced. According to it, since the money was a donation, it didn't require a receipt. Hmmmm... Let me think. You can not enrol without one and yet you can label it as a donation?! I never knew donations were mandatory. Damn! And to make things worse, it was shown in the committee report that I signed it. I agreed that it was a contribution and it didn't require a receipt. What the fuck?!

It's just so upsetting to think that all this work and vigilance towards corruption will end because of a legal loop hole. Makes you feel sick, and hopeless and disillusioned. Makes you feel that maybe, there is really no hope for Philippine politics. Depressing.

And on a side note, the Baranggay Captain of that said baranggay screamed at me for giving the speech. He said something to the effect of "Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap magpatakbo ng isang baranggay?" Yeah, apparently I dont. And he does. And if he is not up for it, I could give you fifty names of people who are willing to take your place. So if he is having a hard time, step aside. If he isn't up for it, step aside. Don't give me excuses that what he is attempting is for the common good. I never believed that the ends justify the means.

Life has made me bitter and cynical. I just hope that Bantay Bata and other charitable institutions learn a lesson from all this crap and impose a mandatory donation from everyone to further their cause.

my problem

Apparently, Friendster blogs are fine. It's just me. I can't access the site, I can't update my blog, I can't view other people's blogs. My problem, not theirs.

So something that was planned to be temporary will become permanent. I never planned to make this my permanent blog. My other blog had my heart and soul in it. The interface and content were designed for my taste. And now it's all gone.

It's like working from square one. Back to the drawing board. Start from scratch.

So I would just like to welcome myself to the Blogspot family. It looks like I'll be here to stay.

creating heroes

I was never a big fan of boxing. And hopefully I never will be. I don't get what kind of joy you can derive out of watching two people hitting each other senseless. Why give them gloves that pad the blows? Why not just give them baseball bats or lead pipes. Why wait 10 or 11 or 12 rounds for them to batter each other when they can have a sufficient weapon to end things in a matter of three minutes or less? During medieval times, they had swords and lances and maces and what have you. Can't we just do that again? Hahahaha...

And yet, I watched all ten rounds of the Morales-Pacquiao match. Ten rounds that recreated the hero status of Manny Pacquiao.

Looking at their battered faces after the match makes me shudder. Are we that barbaric? Do we enjoy in the pain and suffering of others?

And national pride?! HAH!!! Should we actually be proud that a Filipino can beat a guy from some other country senseless. Should we be proud that we hit harder and can take more blows than they do? Actually we are. So there. End of discussion. Hehehe.

Maybe boxing isn't just for me. Maybe I just don't see the bigger picture. I don't see the glory and the pride that comes with winning in boxing. The winners are now celebrating the victory. And the loser is in the hospital emergency room. Oh well!

ever after

I would always kid around with lou about proposing. I would sometimes propose to her in the car using a puzzle ring i gave her last May. And I would say crap like "I never thought I would be so lucky. As to fall in love with my bestfriend" (taken from Monica's proposal to Chandler Friends Season 6 episode 24)" or "Life is complicated and hard to understand like this ring but I know together, we can figure it out" or some other crappy, cheesy line I could think of at that moment. We would then laugh. And actually, that was one of my biggest hang ups about proposing. I didn't think I could pull it off without laughing at all.

At times, I would have a heart felt discussion with her about getting married and having a family. And I would then ask her if she realizes how lazy I am and probably be too lazy to propose and it would be best if she did all the arrangements and I would just show up and propose. And she would act all surprised and teary eyed. Hehehe...

On to my real story. Once upon a time (all good stories should begin with once upon a time) in a land far far away (Angono is far far away if you think about it). Hmmmm... Anyway, one friday, I asked lou out and watch a magic show. The magic show was fine, blah blah blah. Usual cut the person in half trick and all that shit. I would wanna say when we got home, there were flowers everywhere and a splendid candle-light dinner for two at the table waiting for us. But no one would believe me. Everyone knows how anti-romantic I am. That kind of story wouldn't be anywhere close to realistic.

We went home, played a few games of billiards and then I asked her to go into the room with me coz it was hot and I wanted to turn on the air con (no this isn't an erotic novel hehehe). So there we were, alone at last (again, no, this isn't an erotic novel hehehe). She sat at the edge of the bed, I sat on the floor by her feet. I took her hand and removed her puzzle ring. Again with the cheesy proposal. If I can remember it right, I used the Joey proposal (Friends Season 8 episode 2 -- yeah yeah, i know... 100% certified friends fanatic here). "It’s a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Y’know, now I always thought you and I had a special bond..." Lou started to laugh. I pushed her so she was lying flat on the bed (still not an erotic story geeez). All this time I was trying to fish out the other ring from my pocket. I kept one eye on her making sure she didn't sit up or see what I was doing. And when I had the ring in my hand, I waited. Finally, she sat up again, and there I was, kneeling by her knees and me holding the real engagement ring in my hand. "Lou, sawa na tayo magpractice sa singsing na yan, pwede ito naman gamitin natin." She froze.

"I thought that it mattered where I proposed, when I proposed or how I proposed but I realized that the only thing that mattered was you said yes. I wanted to propose since Feb last year but I couldn't. There were a million dreams I wanted to fulfill first, a million goals I wanted to achieve, a million things I wanted to do before I settled down. I had a lot of things that I wanted to do that didn't involve you. Then I realized, none of them mattered if I lost you in the process. I wanted to become vice mayor, to become mayor and all that except that would take some time and that wouldn't matter if we broke up along the way, because I knew, I would be doing all that for you. So Lou, will you marry me?"

Lou was still frozen, Her hands suddenly became ice cold. Recounting the events, Lou said she said yes right away. But I knew better. For one or two seconds she just sat there and looked at me. She started to answer but she faltered and was silent again. It took an eternity for her to finally say yes.

There are a million events that happened after, including a walk out from me (she had the wedding date planned out waaaaay before I even proposed... who wouldn't walk out?! hehehe). We sat there, calling friends to tell them the news. We just sat there, not wanting to leave the room. We knew that once we stepped out the door, all this would be real. We would be getting married soon. While we were there, only the two of us, it was just a dream, a dream we were both having. Everything was surreal. Everything was hazy. Everything was perfect.

But at some point, we had two walk out the door and return to the real world. And we did, holding hands as we crossed the threshold back to reality.

I wanna end the story with "and we lived happily ever after." But I can't. I know that there will be troubles that come our way but i know whatever troubles arise, we will work it out. But happily ever after? That's for fairy tales. And this one is real.

hello world redux

I wrote my first blog entry sometime ago in Friendster Blogs. I fell in love with the idea of sharing your thoughts and ideas to readers who you don't really know. Readers that don't know the real you. What you think, what you aspire to be, what day to day struggles and joys you go through. Readers you never knew cared about you. That was my friendster blog.

Problem was, Friendster Blog wasn't that stable. It has been down for four days or so. Four days of attempting to log in and write a post. Four days of getting frustrated everytime I attempt to open that blog. Maybe they are restructuring it or something. Maybe they are putting a ton of new features. Maybe... a million maybes. But I have grown tired of waiting for a maybe that may never be. And my thoughts want to vent. So here I am, once again creating another first entry into a new blogging life. Hopefully this one turns out better than the first one.