understanding shrek

My bro took the Ateneo Law Entrance Exam sometime ago. I was extremely happy about that. He hasn't been working for he past year or so ever since he resigned from RCBC to have stones removed from his gall bladder. His bumming around for the past year has given us the time to hang around, talk and become brothers again.

Anyway, yesterday, my cousin called up her brother (who took the Ateneo Law Exam with my bro) and told him that the results were out. Suddenly everyone was excited in what could be a life changing moment for them. They packed hurriedly and in a matter of minutes we were in the car, on our way to Rockwell. Everybody was tense.

When we got there, we searched the list over and over again for their names which we just couldn't find. My bro smiled, shrugged his shoulders and said "So that's that." A very apathetic yet typical reaction from him. But my cousin couldn't (or rather wouldn't) accept defeat. He searched the entire board again and again. Finally he said "What does it mean if my name is scheduled for an interview on April 6?"

Both their names were on the list to of applicants to be interviewed, a list which we didn't see before. So there. Their hopes and dreams of getting into law school haven't actually ended. And on our way out, I pulled Lou to one side and said to her "They probably did well on the test but Ateneo has some reservations about them, probably their college grades."

Some stupid teen age mistake from ten years ago has come back to bite my bro on the ass. I mean, after college he has been one of the best branch managers in RCBC and if i remember the stories he told me correctly (which I never really cared to listen to) he was one of the youngest branch managers. And yet here it was again, his college grades, back with a vengeance. Hahaha...

At dinner, I commented "At least I realized something. Alphie really wants to get into Law School that's why he tried really hard to find his name on that board. And you, well, I just think it's a reason not to work again."

My bro smiled at me and said "First, you know nothing ever affects me. And second, there is this prayer from Days with the Lord (Ateneo HS retreat) I use. And it goes Dearest Lord, help me to remember that there is nothing in this world that can happen to me that You and I together can not handle."

My bro was never the religious type and that statement coming from him silenced me. Religion is really a one to one relationship which no outsider can understand. What's more, I used to love the prayer he just said. It was my mantra my high school life and half of college. And for some reason, I forgot about it.

I am happy at the day's end. I realized that I still don't know my bro after a year of hanging out. I hope to get glimpses like this into his mind every now and then because what I saw shocked me. And I remembered a very good prayer which I forgot.

I hope most days are like this.

(and for those who don't understand the title... nevermind)

almost ten years later

I have been feeling crappy since the other night. Ever since that drunken phone call I got. I just not have been in a good mood. This is the time when close friends know to stay the hell away from me otherwise they would be on the receiving end of a hissy fit.

Last night, I was in my worst possible state. I didn't want to bother my friends to vent my imaginary problems. They were either to far away to do any real good, or probably too busy with work and stuff. So I did what any stupid guy would do, I called up an ex girlfriend.

After a forty minute drive, there we were, having dinner at Burger King. All we did was talk. I drove her home, hang out for another thirty minutes or so, then decided to go out for a couple of beer. Four bottles and two packs of cigarettes later, we were back at her front door. I hugged her good night and went on my way (were you expecting some sleazy porn story? hahaha).

I'm just so happy about our friendship. After a very soap operatic (is that even a word?!) break up, at least we can still sit down, hang out and talk. She has become one of my closest friends. We can tell each other everything, things that we don't even tell other people, things better left unsaid.

I'm just happy that almost ten years ago,we made the stupid mistake of being a couple. We may not have worked things out the way we wanted it to back then, but without that relationship we had, I don't think we would have this special friendship we have now.

Thank God for stupid mistakes!

little white world shaking lies

Some people have little to no capabilities at lying and when confronted, they have the nerve to deny it. Hello?! It's as plain and obvious as Pinocchio's nose and yet you still deny it. Well maybe I just know you too well and the very intonation of your voice and wording you choose makes it extremely obvious to me.

And it was an inconsequential topic at the very best, nothing that would shake the foundations of reality. Just a little white lie. But it hit a nerve. I have no idea why. It just hit a nerve. Oh well.

They say little white lies are harmless. You should hope it is because up to now, I'm still pissed.

speechless

I have started like a million blog entries over the past two days, reached the middle of the entry then scrapped the whole thing. My head has been spinning ever since that text message I received last Thursday bu over the course of the last five days, I haven't been able to focus on a single train of thought.

I said a million things specially over the weekend, which in my opinion has been more than blog worthy but then I realized somethings are better written in this blog while others are better left to the silent ears of the cigarette butts sitting on my ash tray and the C2 bottles scattered on my bedroom floor as I once again go through another sleepless overnight with close friends. (So I'm sorry Busy Boy Ginoboy, no blog entry for your requested topic hehehe).

This entry is just to remind the world I'm still alive, speechless but alive. Maybe in a few days I'll be able to think straight and blog once again but as it is, this is the best possible entry I can come up with.

ultra electro magnetic crap

I was watching some weird cartoon last night. I hink the title was Yugi-oh but I'm not too sure. It was some tv show about people battling Magic: The Gathering style. They used cards with special abilities. The weird thing about the cartoon was the characters explained to their opponents their cards, what they did and what the monsters they summoned did.

Whatever happened to surprising your enemy?

Take for example Voltes V. Steve screams at the top of his lungs, Ultra electro magnetic top. First of all, is Voltes V voice activated? If he doesn't scream that, will it not use that weapon? Second, do the enemies hear whatever he is saying? Or even his team mates for that matter. Third, can't he scream Voltes Bazooka then pull out his chain knuckles to surprise his enemy? Or can he just say, Ultra Electro Magnetic Whip and then pull out the Laser Sword?Does screaming what he is about to do help him in anyway?

Come to think of it, most if not all Anime super heroes do it. Sailor Moon yells, hmmmm I can't think of what she says. But the others say "Soap Bubble Spray" (what is up with Sailor Mercury's power? I mean does she clean the enemy to death?) or Venus Love Me Chain (whoah... another incredible power hehehe) and then an incredibly looong video takes place where she sets up what ever she is about to do. And what is the enemy doing during this time? Staring at them, waiting for the heroes to finish them off.

What would happen if I use this ideology of screaming everything I am about to do? I would go to the munisipyo and scream, "Irerecruit namin si Bernie sa partido namin" or "lilipat ako sa partido ni Mayor."

That would be fun. And then after declaring what political maneuvering I am about to do, I could pose there a few seconds. Hehehe.

Cartoons make no sense.

matter of perspective and other toxic stuff

For some weird reason, this has been my cellphone wall paper for some time now (since I took the pic). I know it's a weird picture. Can't actually make ou what it is. Some think it's a car wheel. Or a random picture I downloaded from the internet.

It's actually the inside of a C2 bottle held up against the bluish violet light of the mosquito killer in my bro's room.

It just reminds me that everything is a matter of perspective. Looking at things from a different point of view changes how you see everything.

-oOo-

Today was my first executive-legislative meeting. The agenda was the supposed toxic dumpsite which was exposed a year ago by an ex employee of the company. Last March 4, ABS-CBN revisited the issue thus we need to reevaluate the actions the municipality has taken to prove or disprove the allegations.

A lot of questions were thrown to the Mayor during the meeting. And as I listened intently to his answers, it reminded me of a Miss Universe beauty pageant. Sure sure. World peace is a very good answer. But do contestant really want that if they got one wish. I would bet half of them would really want a new car, or a new house or something shallow and materialistic. But that wouldn't win them the crown.

Just like the mayor could give the actually answers to the questions but nobody would like them. I have just devolved public service into a beauty pageant.

exodus

One of the things I feared most in this political chess game has happened. Due to lack of leadership from our titular head, our people, our supporters, our voters, have started a mass exit onto the open and awaiting arms of the other party.

First, three of my running mates had supposedly shifted allegiances during the last two years. Now a fourth has expressed his intent to change parties. And as a final act of desperation, the higher ups of my party is attempting to negotiate a coallition to save our dying party.

Come to think of it, I suggested that coallition a month or two after I won and they dismissed it as something less than probable to happen, and now they are lobbying for it to save their asses. I suddenly feel so under appreciated.

So is it time for my own exodus to begin?

Hmmm... I'm starting to like biblical titles :D

genesis

It has started. Without my knowledge, my Uncle has been doing negotiations with the Mayor for me to shift political parties. I expected it any day now, and I am here at the beginning of a new chapter in my political life. This is a turning point. This is the crux of the next three years of my life.

Last night, they called on me. And they shared the secrets they held for the next political bout. They laid their arms, their plans, their weaponry for the next melee. And I sat there, listening to every word they said. I had inside information on every plan they made, in the strategies they devised, on the thought process they went through. I dared not say anything. I never confirmed I was a part of them, nor did I deny anything. I let them think what they wanted to.

I wanted to speak, and yet I knew, in this case, silence was golden. My silence was precious. For as I sat there saying nothing, I learned things I would never find out in a million years. So I sat there, smiling my Mona Lisa smile. For I knew something that only I knew, a secret. I wasn't one of them.

But all this maybe for naught. I maybe one of them soon. I may not. Everything is still up in the air. Everything is still being talked over, negotiated.

I don't claim to be of any importance to them or anybody else. I am a pawn in this game, easily disposable, used in gambits, of no real value, just another pawn. I have to wait, inch my way closer and closer in this political chess game. And when I at last touch the base line and turn myself into something of far greater value (say a bishop or knight or rook) then it is time to make my move. Shah mat.

Chess is a game of logic. And so is politics. I know I can think this through. Gambits can be made. If they pay off, you gain leverage. Let's just see. Hopefully I can play this right.