The Relentless Rain

pumped

2007-01-28T02:34:00.000+08:00

it is weird that something i dreaded for so long has pumped me up.

i wasn't looking forward to our nomination rallies, it is a 3-4 hour event which bores the hell out of me (plus i can't smoke during this time) and in my opinion doesn't even add a vote to me. during our last three rallies, people barely listened to us talk, no one reacted to what we said. they just sat there staring at us with blank expressionless faces, well most of the time. i mean i could have spent those 3 hours hanging out with friends or watching a movie, or even just relaxing at home and i would find that a lot more productive than the rally.

but today, was different. i got the shock of my life when i arrived (an hour late as usual hehehe) to be greeted by 2000 or so people actually chanting my name and cheering for me. and during the speeches of the eight councilors, they actually listened. as one of my running mates, would say (and may i borrow your favorite expressions, carol) scary. i mean, people actually listening to political speeches. i was used to the expressionless zombies that greeted us. this was new.
so i sucked it up, ignored the butterflies in my stomach and somehow pulled off the best speech i gave in my political career. people actually laughed at my jokes, clapped during my speech and actually listened to what i had to say. it was one of the best feelings being cheered by 2000 or so people, pledging support for me and some teen age girls even screaming as if i were a movie star. hehehe.

so now, i am pumped for the next few days, all of us are. after the massive support we received earlier, it would take a few weeks for the "high" to wear off. pumped pumped pumped. i'm ready to face the world again, awaiting whatever the campaign throws at me. i hope this feeling lasts loooooooong...

memories of

2006-11-20T21:34:00.000+08:00

childhood

the other week lou started downloading copies of voltron (lion force). i was pretty excited about it since it was one of my favorite cartoons of all time. i decided to start downloading visionaries and thundercats. i finished voltron and visionaries like the other day but i had to stop thundercats due to my low disk space.

after watching around 3 episodes of voltron, i don't remember voltron being so repetitive and crappy. darn! should never have seen it again!!! i have just destroyed one of my favorite memories of my childhood, friday nights huddled in front of the tv waiting for voltron and then replaying the episode on my voltron robot. somehow, voltron just doesn't appeal to me anymore as a grown up.

at least the visionaries lived up to my memories. no repetitive animation, they don't talk down to kids. but i can't believe there were only 13 episodes. it felt like there were a million of them and each week was a new episode. the only problem now is, i wanna watch the tagalog dubbed stuff!!! hahahaha...

i was even forcing lou to watch visionaries with me. and iw as chanting the staff summoning shit with the characters. hahahaha.... "by nature's hand, by craft by art, what once was one now fly apart...." weeeeeeeee.....

college

last night we had a melrose dinner along with several other friends from college, some of which i haven't seen in quite sometime. but i guess it doesn't matter that we don't see each other that much anymore, we still talk like we did back in college, like we didn't spend anytime apart.

and the people never changed, the clowns are still clowns, the bitches are still bitches. hehehe... so now, i am really looking forward to 2008 and our pact to meet at the eiffel tower and see the rest of the gang!

no other group of dysfunctional people will be as close to my heart as melrose place...

pray

2006-11-16T02:34:00.000+08:00

when all is said and done, all you can do is pray. yep... prayer is truly the last recourse of the desperate... (wow, how cryptic! hehehe)

maybe next time, i can delve into this and whatever pushed me to write this extremely short blog entry. but for the mean time, pray with me...

sugar rush and other stories

2006-11-10T00:33:00.000+08:00

i am practically bouncing off the walls right now and i have no idea why...

well this was common during my college days. sleepless nights usually energize me like this for one to two hours during the mid afternoons but never this late. and i had a good nights sleep last night (well sort of but not really).

so right now im singing along with my mp3s (god forbid i do this in public) and dancing around in the room. too bad lou is too tired to share in my unexplained (and unexplainable) sudden abundance of energy. hehehe.

-oOo-

i have a resolution due first thing in the morning and here i am blogging. i cant seem to get it started. everytime i open word to start the resolution i suddenly draw a blank. i have done a million and one things to prevent me from making the resolution. haaaaay...

i have had two dinners, fixed my pc, cleaned up the sala, talked to my mom and dad on the phone, started a blog entry and now i plan to deliver food to my bro at the other house so that i dont have to do what i got to do.

long live the procrastinator!!!

-oOo-

as you just read, i fixed my pc today!! not really fixed. i have two pcs at home. one broke down around a month ago and i haven't brought it to the shop. anyway, today i found the energy to dismantle it, pull out the memory and hard disk and transfer it to my working pc. actually, that was out of need. i have a 20 gig hard disk right now and all my downloaded videos has left me with 1 gig. hahaha... so i needed to pull out my 80 gig hard disk out of the other pc.

and it was fun rummaging through my old files. seeing games i haven't played in quite sometime, mp3s and videos i didn't know were there, pictures from my wedding (remind me that i havent actually chosen pictures for the photographer to put in the album), even documents which made me laugh.

maybe thats why im this happy right now. seeing all my old stuff. i love my old stuff.

-oOo-

and my favorite story of the day...

as i was about to leave the house at around 2pm, our helper approached me and said "bossing, yung inabono kong P300 para sa tanghalian ng mga tao mo pwede mo na bang bayaran?"

this was weird cause we usually settled our finances after i arrived in the evening so my reaction was "bakit?"

and the reply that still makes me chuckle up to now "tinamad akong mag plantsa kanina eh. kaya kumuha ako ng plantsadora. kailangan ko ng pambayad bago siya umalis."

wtf?! hahahahaha.... still drives me crazy thinking of our maid hiring a plantsadora to do her work for her...

bad day

2006-11-08T21:16:00.000+08:00

there are just some days you wake up knowing that nothing will go right. nothing. too bad i had to go through one today.

for some reason, the universe conspired to throw everything it has at me today. crappy crappy crappy day. my video player broke down, threw up because i had waaaaaay to much to drink, had a very bad discussion with one of the purok chairmen in mahabang parang, had an argument with my mom, and for some reason, every major solicitation sitting on my table was picked up today. ugh ugh ugh... somedays, it just isn't worth it to get up at all. somedays, the best thing to do is stay in bed the whole day and let everything pass you by.

to make things worse, before i stood up this morning, i knew this was one of those crappy crappy crappy days but i still got up and now i regret making that decisions. i should have stayed in bed til sundown.

maybe ill just listen to daniel powter over and over and over again til i get this bad day crap out of my system.

burned out

2006-10-29T02:23:00.000+08:00

of course the moment i declare that i no longer plan to blog, i find the urge to blog. there's suddenly an itch i can't ignore. so here i am, less than a week after i declared i won't blog, blogging once again.

anyway, i am burned out. i have been for several weeks now. i hate the smell of gin, red horse, colt 45 and emperador (add to that list matador and generoso). i hate meeting people who lambast me and treat me like dirt as i sit there capable of nothing more but smiling. i hate the ringing of my cell phone thinking it's another solicitor asking for something or some person reminding me of a meeting i forgot about. i hate waking up in the morning and plastering my unending plastic smile on my face. i hate the ringing of our doorbell. i hate making almost extemporaneous speeches which people scrutinize as if it were the dogma of some religion. in other words, i am burned out.

but not all days are like that. sometimes somebody who really needs help knocks on my door and i get to help out. on others i get to hang out and meet really cool people or people who believe in me and what i am capable of doing for my town (yeah yeah i know, flattery should never affect me, just like criticism but it does).

and then there are days like this. today, minus one meeting i couldn't cancel, i had a loooot of fun with a few close friends. me, lou, alan and sars went out to dinner with gino at dencio's. after a little shopping, where i didn't get to buy anything (hmpf!!!), gino left to meet up with a friend. so the four of us (no that wasn't a double date... i think hehehe) saw open season (over the hedge pa rin hehehe). wedropped off sarah, alan just left and lou is asleep.

i hate writing everyday stuff like that here but i just had to point out, it was an ordinary day. i mean, it wasn't some spectacular gimik i would remember for the rest of my natural life. as i said in some previous blog entry an eternity ago, when you're with friends, you don't need to move the heavens to have fun. even the most mundane things will suffice.

so here i am, once again recharged to face whatever the political arena can throw at me.

i wonder how long this will last...

end of the road (for now)

2006-10-24T00:44:00.000+08:00

i have lost the will to blog.

ever since the power outage after the storm which lasted for around a week followed by the phone problems we had which lasted for another week, i haven't updated my blog. i had highs and lows and mood swings and all that crap which i wrote on wordpad to be hopefully uploaded later over the past few weeks but looking at them now, without the emotions to back up my blog entries, i just don't see the need to post them anymore. oh well.

so my avid readers (hahahaha, is there anybody who actually reads this anyway?!) have lost the tidbits they get from me. too bad. maybe ill pick up the habit again sometime soon. but as for now, i have unofficially signed off. maybe by election time, ill be motivated to document the innerworkings of a politicians journey. so until then, bye!

the day after

2006-10-01T16:05:00.000+08:00

i always love the day after a storm. for some reason, the sun seems to shine brighter than usual without being any hotter than it usually is.

maybe its the fact that half of the leaves are on the road letting the sunshine through. maybe its some weather phenomenon that leaves the skies cloudless without being too hot. maybe its the psychological thought that the storm could have killed me with its flash flood or flying yeros or something but i am still here alive and well.

i love days like this. makes me feel great. too bad there is no electricity and the roads are littered with fallen trees and electric posts and billboards to ruin such a lovely day.

paying the price

2006-09-24T14:05:00.000+08:00

it's been forever since my last post. and there are a bunch of articles in my draft box which i don't plan on posting. oh well.

yesterday, i went out with lou's team to practice for their bowling tournament next weekend. it has been quite sometime since i last played and to make things worse, we were going to play at SM Megamall, one of my most hated bowling spots.

Megamall had changed their houseballs (no longer the extremely small holed balls making it almost impossible to throw) so things seemed to be looking better than what i expected. i bowled a 150+, another 150+ and a 180+. by the end of the third game i was tired. but they still wanted to play so tyhe fourth and fifth games where 120+.

after that, we went out to dinner with alan and sars, and then a movie (step up) it was like 1 am when i got home and after poking at the net for a while, it was around 3 am when i finally got to sleep.

yesterday was a good day. fun with friends. saw a movie. saw a couple of friends who i weren't scheduled to see (mon and tweety who were in megamall for a check up and kd and jorge who also watched step up and cha who i heard was there but i didn't see)

and today, i paid for all the fun i had yesterday. my whole body is sore from all the bowling. i wouldn't be surprised if my fingers fell off while typing now. i had to wake up a little earlier than usual because of people knocking at my door. so ill probably be drowsy the rest of the day.

so today, ill be paying the price for all the fun i had yesterday. oh well. i think its a cheap price to pay for yesterday.

and on a side note, happy birthday vanie!

naming stuff

2006-09-11T02:30:00.000+08:00

i was watching monsters inc earlier. one line just struck me. i saw the movie several million times before but hearing it now was just different.

Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it! Now put that thing back where it came from, or so help me...

suddenly realized that is why up to now, i have a problem letting go. when friends ask how i'm doing, its a quick "ok lang" as a reply. but i still am not. maybe because i named him, little baby jeboy.

why am i still so hung up on losing him. i mean, i never got to hold him in my arms, never got to see him smile, never got to talk to him, hear him laugh. never got to see him, and yet here i am, three weeks later still depressed. maybe it's because i named him. little baby jeboy. and by naming him, i got attached. i declared ownership and now i can't let go.

*sigh*

i have my good days. days where life has just gone on, days where nothing happened. but there are days when i'm not, when i'm nowhere near ok. there are days when i'd rather just crawl under a rock and die. days where i just can't get little baby jeboy out of my head. and unfortunately, this is one of those freaking days. thanks to monsters inc.

*sigh*

ill just sleep my depression off.

picking up the pieces

2006-09-07T03:41:00.000+08:00

it's been two weeks since my last post. two whole weeks. yep, i'm still alive. maybe a little jaded from what i went through but alive nonetheless.

for the unaware, i lost little baby jeboy (that's what i named the baby) this past few days. we went in for our first ultrasound two weeks ago and discovered that the baby lou was carrying didn't have a heartbeat. so we were forced to let him go (i'd still like to think that he was a he though i will never find out now).

and after my hiatus from work, i come back to around 20K worth of solicitations. baaaah... and then to make things worse, everything i worked for this past few months at work was washed away by a week and a half of absence. people would comment "eh ang hirap mong hanapin ngayong mga araw na ito eh, di paano pa kung manalo ka?" like duh? don't they understand what we went through.

and after helping the same person for around a hundred times, they tend to notice the single time you weren't there when they needed your help. how about the other hundred? people... hmpf! and they have the nerve to shove it to your face. oh well. that's life... correction, that's the life of a politician.

so here i am, still alive, jaded and disillusioned but alive.

chicken little

2006-08-24T23:41:00.000+08:00

today i just saw my world crash around me. i wanted to run around and scream "the sky is falling, the sky is falling" and yet here i am still breathing, still alive.

they say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. maybe it's just playing around with me until it decides to go in for the kill. oh well.

pardon me while i pick up the pieces of my life.

the ring

2006-08-22T18:32:00.000+08:00

for some weird reason, my wedding ring warped. it is now shaped like an oval rather than a circle. i hated that ring since it was first given to me and i really had no intention of wearing it. but after two months of wearing it, i feel weird, sort of empty, without it on my finger.

i miss playing around with it when i am bored. i miss putting it on a different finger every now and then. i miss it.

and i never thought anyone would notice that my ring was missing. weirdly enough, a friend who i rarely saw asked me yesterday why i wasn't wearing it. people do notice when you are not wearing your wedding ring.

oh well. sometime this week, ill bring it to the jeweler's shop. i hope he can fix it.

cold turkey

2006-08-18T17:46:00.000+08:00

i just realized, i have left the life i have love so much behind, cold turkey. not so much as good bye, everything happened so fast and now i am knee deep in work. my schedule is suddenly packed with litttle rest left for me. the little time i have left to myself, i spend on the porch waiting for solicitations to come.

in the past three days alone, i have met literally hundreds of people from all walks of life. i can barely spend an uninterupted hour in front of my pc to think i used to spend at least 8 continuous hours playing some internet game.

i have left the life i love so much for what? a job i might not even want. for service to the greater good of humanity. wow! how noble! maybe it's time to shoot me at luneta. hehehe...

oh well. this is what i made out my life to be. this is where each and every choice i made has led me. this is probably where i belong. i read somewhere "to acquire something of great value, you must sacrifice something of equal importance." i have sacrificed my life for the completion of the dreams of the people around me. is it worth it? yeah probably. maybe in the long run.

let's just wait and see.

on productivity

2006-08-14T16:21:00.000+08:00

i had a very unproductive weekend. i cancelled all my meetings, decided against attending all the drinking sessions around town and spent it lazing around the tv with my wife (still feels weird to call lou my wife) . went out to watch two movies (click and just my luck) with my wife and a couple of friends (or friends about to become a couple... i get confused hehehe). it was like the good old times when the worries of the world where a million miles away.

yes, i agree it was a very unproductive weekend. no career advancement, no money making potential, nothing productive of any kind. but i still view it as a productive weekend. i hang around with a friend i rarely saw, i saw two great movies (though i would question my definition of the word great hehehe), i got to watch desperate housewives with my wife, spent quality alone time with her. good weekend.

just shows being productive and unproductive is just a matter on whose point of view you are taking.

gamehouse

2006-08-09T03:03:00.000+08:00

i haven't had the energy to blog this past week and it's not due to lack of bloggable events in my life. last saturday, i was proclaimed candidate for vice mayor of angono. sunday lunch was gino's party and sunday dinner was my bro's birthday party. earlier today i attended the league of municipalities presentation of their vision for the world art experience to be held in angono on november of this year. so my lack of blogging has not been due to lack of activity. rather it is the lack of energy to actually focus my thoughts into one logical sentence.

anyway, so out of the laziness to actually create some thought provoking entry, i'd rather discuss my latest addiction, gamehouse games.

this is a blessing in disguise story with all the inspirational crap (hehehe as if...) but i'll tell it anyway. sometime ago, i got hooked on diner dash. a friend gave me a crack so it was endless fun until i got bored of it. i found cake mania which i also fell in love with. so i searched the net for a copy of its crack. unfortunately, after several hours of searching, i found several spyware programs installed onto my pc.

i asked several friends for anti spyware programs and vanie recommended zero spyware by fbm software. anyway, to make a long story short, i cleaned my pc. and in a weird turn of events (well actually, it made a lot of sense hehehe) zero spyware, didn't allow programs to write into the win.ini file which (if you didn't know) is where the timer for game house games are inserted. so suddenly, i have 33 gamehouse games in my pc for unlimited fun. hehehe.

so the mouse potato is back. offline from the internet, but playing in front of his pc nonetheless.

the forgotten (redux)

2006-07-27T01:25:00.000+08:00

i tried to forget my birthday. and now, i have totally forgotten (well both of us so i don't think it really matters) that last monday, lou and i have been married for a month. a whole month.

it doesn't feel like it. i don't feel married. my daily routine has not changed, i sleep when i want, where i want. i play my online games when i want. i eat when i want (though the food here has greatly improved since lou moved in). it's like we are still boyfriend/girlfriend on an eternal sleep over.

even going to what i have labeled as domestic chores doesn't help. the once every two weeks grocery isn't helping me feel like we are a married couple. the weekly food planning doesn't help. the marketing doesn't either (come to think of it, have i actually gone marketing with lou? hahahaha). even alan and gino's sleep overs haven't been affected by my getting married. the more influential factor is my distance from qc but otherwise life is still the way i left it.

well, lou's being pregnant helped a lot but not enough i guess.

maybe in nine months, when i have what is hopefully a bouncing baby boy, i will (we will rather) feel a little more married than how we feel now. so here's to our first month anniversary and many many more forgotten anniversarries to come.

do you know what these are?

2006-07-18T21:11:00.000+08:00

if you know what these are, call me up! share in my joy!!! if you don't, oh well... maybe later i will tell you.

still don't know? this is the best item to stop you from smoking!!! i haven't smoked in the house for two days because of these. hehehe

hahahaha... still don't know? i think they are emotion generators. some people go ecstatic seeing them (like me) and some people become sad because of them (hehehe)

the ignored

2006-07-17T02:49:00.000+08:00

birthdays are the best things in the world. you try to ignore it, you try to forget it but it comes back to bite you in the ass.

i tried to pretend i didn't have a birthday this year. i wasn't expecting anything at all. i was sure i wasn't having a party. i had a major one last june 24 (and 17 hehehe) so i wasn't expecting one now. and gifts wise, people tend to remember they just gave you one 3 weeks ago so i didn't expect anything at that department either. so what is the use of growing older one more year if you don't get the gifts and the party that comes with it?! hahahaha...

so anyway, i'm 29 *sigh* time to list life goals again before i turn 30.

cut down on my cigarettes. - is should set a rule to make this possible. i won't smoke inside the house. i need to go out of the house to smoke. or i am not allowed to smoke in lou's presence (hmmmm... that wouldn't work, she's in the office most of the time anyway). so maybe not in the house rule.
lose weight- sigh. here we go again. i joined a gym and i pay them every month and i go like twice or thrice. neeed more motivation than this.
find a more stable source of income - i won't be a councilor forever and my parents have apparently abandoned me (hahahaha... not really abandoned. more of let me live my own life) so another source of income won't hurt.

hmmmm... this looks like my new year's resolutions (to be ignored) list. so ill just stop. i'm 29 and i'm happy about it right now. the world is a perfect place, birds are singing, flowers are blooming and i'm happy. so there.

maybe next year, i'll attempt to ignore my birthday again and i'll be this happy again.

the forgotten

2006-07-15T04:31:00.000+08:00

it feels weird. tomorrow, i turn 29. birthdays are big things. kids look forward to it. teen agers do too. even adults do. and yet, for some reason even i don't know, tomorrow will just be another day for me.

it's just weird. i'm a big kid (and damn proud!) i look forward to my birthday each and every year. i declare it a month or two before. i declare what presents i want and what kind of party i wanna get. i create a huge fuss over it and if i were president i would make it a national holiday.

and here i am, less than 24 hours away from my birthday and i don't feel a thing. i'm not excited or anything.

*sigh*

something's wrong. very wrong. it's like i am just about ready to forget my birthday this year. and it's the last one before i turn 30. the big three zero.

hmmmm... come to think of it, if i don't celebrate my birthday this year, can i just remain 28? hehehehe oh well. i hope this birthday turns out good.

the abandoned

2006-07-14T03:02:00.000+08:00

this blog, for all intents and purposes seems abandoned. hehehehe. not really. it's just that every time i start an entry, i can't seem to be able to finish it. i don't know if my mind just can't finish anything right now or nothing happening to me right now is blog worthy.

.oOo.

i got sick *again* this week. it seems the day after i meet up with vanie and robert i get sick. the last time was after harvee and joyce's wedding then last tuesday night. by wednesday, i was running a fever again. i called my mom *again* and *again* she didn't show up.

i have been abandoned.

it seems she has given up the right to take care of me when i am sick and passed it on to lou. *sigh* it just makes me feel a lot more grown up knowing i am supposed to fend for myself by myself (well, not myself since lou will be there but yeah, by myself). not that i'm complaining but yeah, i'm complaining. hehehe. oh well.

in sickness and on health

2006-06-30T15:17:00.000+08:00

when lou promised to be my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, she had no idea that that promise would be tested within the week. i have been running a fever since the other day. 39.5 degrees. ouch. i have little to no appetite, i barely eat and whatever i eat, i throw up.

i called up my mom yesterday to tell her i'm sick. she said ok but she never showed up. apparently, she has turned over all rights of taking care of me to lou. hehehe.

so our first week as a married couple, lou has to bring me medicines, cook my food, take care of me. so much for our honeymoon hehehe.

forever and ever and all eternity

2006-06-28T03:00:00.000+08:00

a lot of people ask me why, when asked by the priest "do you take lou to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health and all that crap" i answered "forever and ever and all eternity." behind those six words, a whole speech was planned, a speech which no one heard, a speech summarized into the six words, forever and ever and all eternity.

"i have known lou for 8 years now. she was the applicant i couldn't stand, the orgmate i barely talked to. she was a nobody in my life. when she called my place and i answered, she had to describe herself as "si lou, yung matabang org mate mo sa cursor na nakasalamin" and that barely rang a bell.

then something weird happened, she became a friend. we started spending time together. we started talking on the phone longer. we started hanging out. she baked me her cursor reknowned cookies. i started picking her up on my way to eng'g and dropping her home after class. we started getting to know each other a little (too well) better.

she financed my gimiks when i had no money. she stalked my dates. she became my bowling buddy, my friend, my pseudo girlfriend, my confidant, my girlfriend, my bestfriend.

she was there during my temper tantrums, my mood swings. she has stood by me may i be right or wrong. she was there when my world was crumbling on me. she was there during my triumphs and my defeats. she was there every single step of the way.

so, if you father, plan to ask me if she will be my wife in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, til death do us part, no father i don't. she has meant the world to me this past few years, and saying til death do us part will never be enough. i plan to make her my wife for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, come hell or high water, forever and ever and all eternity."

somehow, only the last six words came out.

home alone

2006-06-15T01:10:00.000+08:00

this house (or whatever house i stay in) is usually overflowing with people. during college (and even sometime after) i had room mates on a regular basis. the last year or so, it has always been me, my bro and alphie in this room. but now they are both in law school and out of this house. i have all three rooms all to myself.

so here i am, at a little past one in the morning, staring (again) at the walls of my room. usually, we'd be playing freestyle or some other online game or if i were in up, i would be chatting with a friend til the sun is almost up.

and here i am, alone, with nothing to do, and nowhere near sleepy.

*sigh*

why do my entries have *sigh* in them lately?

all good things

2006-06-14T01:23:00.000+08:00

*sigh*

it's a maelstrom of emotions right now, everything from happy and excited up to jittery and scared. i know this is the start of something incredible but i just can't focus beyond the fact that this is also the end of the amazing adventure i had alone. now it's the two of us, just the two of us, forever and ever and all eternity, til death do us part.

it feels like that within the next three days i will lose the legs i have used my entire life. i know that ill probably grow wings to fly with. but sometimes, it just feels much more fun to run than to fly. *sigh*

cure for the common couch potato

2006-05-28T22:53:00.000+08:00

I am a self declared (and damn proud) couch potato. And here I am, again with a cure, as I do every year. SUMMER RERUNS!!!

Most shows have hit their season finale once again. My reality TV shows are done, Survivor, Amazing Race (I didn't watch this season though - too bad I heard from a friend it was a great season), American Idol. Even Pinoy Big Brother is neasring its end (and hopefully Kim wins... GO KIM!!!). My TV shows are out. Charmed has done it's series finale (should have brought back Prue... Oh well). Prison Break has ended, Desperate Housewives is done. Lost I heard is through (though I haven't seen the finale yet). Smallville is... hmmmm... I totally have no idea what happened to Smallville.

So with most of my shows over til next fall, I am once again cured from being a couch potato. I no longer run limewire like clockwork to download my videos. My computer can at last be turned off. And my eyes will get their needed rest til September.

Too bad I found a few online games (Monsters Game and Travian) though which I am enjoying. Otherwise, maybe I'll step out of my room once again every now and then.

mean driving 101

2006-05-18T00:59:00.000+08:00

I know, I know. I have my mean streaks. And for some reason, it attempted to manifest itself twice today, both times during driving. First was when Lou was following a jeep which stopped in the middle of the road (apparently to attempt to pick up passengers who unfortunately did not plan to ride). So for all intents and purposes, it was just blocking the road. My suggestion was simple, cut in front of the jeep and then slow down, really slow down. You can even stop in the middle of the road, press the hazard button and pretend to talk to someone on you phone. When the jeep attempts to overtake, put down the phone and speed away. For greater effect, pick up your phone again, press hazard and stop *again* in front of the jeepney. Once it is attempting to overtake, speed away and laugh your ass off. That was mean streak number one.

Mean streak tip number two, this one only works at night. *Same trip* Lou was following a student driver which was going like 10 km/h on North Ave. She couldn't shift lanes so it was extremely frustrating. She honked her horn several times and I asked her to stop. I said, "instead of honking on the poor student driver, just stay behind him and put your lights on bright." I use this one when someone cuts me. I tail them til we unfortunately have to part ways, all the time my lights on bright, hopefully at the very least irritating (and blinding) the driver that cut me.

There! You have two of my favorite ways of venting driving frustration. Additional tips are very welcome.

thought for the day

2006-05-10T23:46:00.000+08:00

What made me think, people can magically change their personalities?! Stupid me!

Just venting a little frustration. Sorry!

four round hearts

2006-05-09T11:29:00.000+08:00

I have lost interest in all my online games. I haven't botted in Ragnarok for around 2 weeks now. I don't even have a copy of it in my PC. I have forgotten what my characters look like and what level they are.

I rarely play Freestyle. Without constant playing partners (my bro and cousin) it's very tedious looking for team mates whose internet connection matches yours. So rather than waste my time, I just stopped playing.

And due to the lack of games in my PC, I have resorted to playing hearts. I know, I know. It's too easy. By the end of the game, you'd probably have like ten points or so. And so I devised a new rule into my game play (actually I picked it up from Adelle or Arnel a couple of years ago). I have incorporated a new goal, I must finish the game in four rounds. And not just finish the game. All of my opponents must be over a hundred points (104 to be exact) by the end of the fourth round. I must shoot the moon four times. It's not as easy as it sounds since the fourth round is a "no pass" round and everythin is left to chance.

At least it kills time. Beats staring at my the walls of my room.

forever lost

2006-05-08T14:45:00.000+08:00

Somethings that are lost, are easily found. Others, are gone forever.

No matter how hard we try, the friendship that we shared in the Sangguniang Bayan seems to have been lost forever. We laugh at each other's jokes, we smile when we make eye contact. And yet we all feel the tension in the air. We all know that one small issue could trigger an avalanche of emotions. We know we may be smiling and laughing and acting as if nothing happened, but we all know that underneath everything politicking and scheming is still taking place. We know that the ice of friendship we walk on is thin and even the littlest pressure will crack and break it.

I miss the good old days when we all got along.

happy first

2006-05-01T05:35:00.002+08:00

My first blog entry was dated April 30, 2005. I have been blogging for a year now?! I have posted 30 entries here and 37 in my friendster blog. And to think I thought I would never find time and energy to write. Sixty seven entries (66 actually, since I reposted an entry from my friendster blog into my blogger account) in one year is good enough for me. That would mean I post an entry more than once a week. Cool!

So I'll keep this anniversary post short and sweet. Here's to my first year anniversary as a member of the blogging community and hopefully more blog entries to come.

selling your soul, time and again

2006-04-28T05:27:00.000+08:00

I dreaded the idea of attending yesterday's special session. After last monday's hoopla over the proposed resolution that would strip the vice mayor of all her key personnel in the Sangguniang Bayan, which led to her walk out, I had to literally force myself to attend yesterday's session. I had enough melodrama for the week, maybe the month even, and I knew that the topics for discussion would lead to nothing but more grief and heart ache.

So I was pleasantly surprised to realize that they didn't plan to push thru with it due to the advice of the municipal legal officer.

I know I am just delaying the inevitable, that somewhere down the road, I will be pushed to vote for something I don't believe in, something against my principles, something like this. At least the delay is allowing me to breathe again. So my mind vs. heart vote will have to be postponed for another day. I don't have to pick a side just yet. Yeah yeah, I know that I have already picked one but standing by my decision on which side to stand by is just soooo stressful.

It's just a matter of political survival and being able to face yourself at the end of the day. Tough choice. Maybe I was never meant to be in politics. Sad thought.

PS There is a rumor going around that I paid the Mayor P5 million, just to be part of his line up in the upcoming 2007 elections. Hahaha. If i had P5 million to give away, why pay someone so that I could be part of their political party, why not make my own? The stupidity of some rumors. Oh well...

battle lines

2006-04-25T17:30:00.000+08:00

Declarations of war can start when you least expect it.

Yesterday, the political arena of Angono's Sangguniang Bayan changed dramatically. Both sides took arms and now, I'm trapped in the middle of what promises to be one of the bloodiest battles to be waged here in Angono. The battle lines have been drawn onto the ever shifting sands of the unstable political battle field. Alliances are broken while new ones are formed.

Am I ready for all these?!

Even petty things like were I am sitting becomes issues of humongous proportions. Even seemingly trivial actions are given color. Nothing is safe. Noone is safe. Whoever said war was pretty anyway?

Why couldn't the truce have lasted just a little longer? Things will never be the same ever again.

end of an era

2006-04-22T00:32:00.000+08:00

All good things must come to an end.

So after over a year of "bumming," my bro has finally got something going for him. If you remember sometime ago, I posted an entry about my bro being interviewed for law school. Earlier today he got the results. He made it along with my cousin.

So at loooong last, he will hopefully leave behind his bumming days. No more Ragnarok, no more Freestyle, no more Rose Online, no more Pangya, no more RF Online, no more Silk Road (why is this entry looking like an ad for online games? hehehe). No more sleeping 6:00 AM. No more spending an entire day watching videos or surfing the net. No more drinking sprees in the middle of the night (so remind me again why he is leaving this life behind hehehe)

And as he moves to the next stage of his life, I can't help but feel both happy and sad. I am happy that he is finally doing something worth while. But after spending each and every waking hour together for the past year of our life, it will be sad just to think that my bro won't be in the other end of my room, in front of his pc. He won't be sitting on his squeaky old chair reading his favorite message boards. He won't be battling me for internet bandwidth because my downloads lag his game.

So as Joey from Friends said "It's like an end of an era." Hope you do good in law school. I doubt you'll be a great lawyer one day, but I don't doubt you will be one. Heheh...

Bits and pieces

2006-04-20T05:09:00.000+08:00

Lately, it has been getting harder and harder to find time to sit down in front of my pc and create an entry for my blog. And once I find time to do so, for some reason, I go start 20 or so posts without finishing any and then I decide to scrap the whole thing all together. Maybe nothing blog worthy is happening to me nowadays. Oh well.

So here is some of the crap I attempted to write but never finished, bits and pieces of the past few days of my life.

Yin and Yang

Lately, I have been overwhelmed by a lot of stuff. Everything from my wedding to my career path. It just feels like I am getting a lot of good things in life which I don't really deserve. So after all the good things, will the universe balance itself out and give me a lot of crap? Scary thought.

Road Map

I had a road map of my goals in life and the brat in me always kept one eye on my target no matter how far away it seems. It was my goal. And yet as I get closer and closer, I realize that I am not sure that that should be my goal, my dream, my destination. I keep convincing myself that this is the right decision, the right thing to do, the road that will take me to my destination, to the fulfillment of my dreams.

But what if you realize that your goal is not what you really want in life? Should you take a U turn? Should you go back? Or should you take the course you are going and hope that when you actually get to your destination, it is what you really want in life? But what if it still isn't and by then you're stuck there.

Icarus Wings

I am being offered wings to fly with, wings that will help me soar. And yet I know that just like Icarus' wings, this will not allow me to fly as high as I want to. For as I attempt to soar ever so high towards my dreams, the wax that binds them will melt and I shall plummet back into the earth, battered and broken.

And yet these wings I am offered will fly me out of my prison. That I am sure of. So the only question left is, what to do? Will you accept freedom and give up your dreams. Or will you fashion your own wings so you can fly higher?

Phobic Angels

Lou and I watched an Easter celebration here in Angono last Sunday. It involved a child of around 8 or 9 years old, sitting on a swing-like chair, enclosed inside an elliptic paraboloid (ooooh... i learned something from my college Math series hehehe), suspended around 20 feet above ground. The child (dressed as an angel) was placed there 30 minutes before the show.

So it was roughly an hour before the paraboloid opened, the angel sang some religious song, descended 15 feet, removed the black veil of the Virgin Mary, and ascended back up.

It is a tradition here in Angono. And yet as Lou pointed out, it borders on child abuse. one freaking hour trapped in that enclosure would certainly give the kid claustrophobia. And when the paraboloid opens, acrophobia sets in. And then, the kid will sing suspended from up high. And to make things worse, the contraption is swung around in a seeming attempt to make the kid fall. Talk about weird traditions. Hehehe

one last great adventure

2006-04-12T01:12:00.000+08:00

I always imagined I'd be ready by the time my wedding day comes. I would have done all the stuff I know doesn't really matter but I still wanted do before I settle down. I always wanted to appear on some reality TV show (and no, not Big Brother but something along the lines of Survivor or Amazing Race).

I wanted to go on an Asian tour alone or go backpacking across Europe (but probably not to Bratislava specially after watching Hostel hehehe). I wanted to see the world. Experience different cultures, see the sights all by my lonesome.

I wanted to go bunjee jumping or sky diving. Or ride one of those really big roller coasters which scared the hell out of me just by looking at them. Maybe go white water rafting or scuba diving or some crap like that.

I wanted to be adventurous, be daring, be stupid for one last time.

But all these I categorized as not important when I proposed to Lou. So apparently I'm not gonna get my one last great adventure. But at least I will get to have the adventure called marriage and fatherhood (and hopefully soon).

understanding shrek

2006-03-31T14:49:00.000+08:00

My bro took the Ateneo Law Entrance Exam sometime ago. I was extremely happy about that. He hasn't been working for he past year or so ever since he resigned from RCBC to have stones removed from his gall bladder. His bumming around for the past year has given us the time to hang around, talk and become brothers again.

Anyway, yesterday, my cousin called up her brother (who took the Ateneo Law Exam with my bro) and told him that the results were out. Suddenly everyone was excited in what could be a life changing moment for them. They packed hurriedly and in a matter of minutes we were in the car, on our way to Rockwell. Everybody was tense.

When we got there, we searched the list over and over again for their names which we just couldn't find. My bro smiled, shrugged his shoulders and said "So that's that." A very apathetic yet typical reaction from him. But my cousin couldn't (or rather wouldn't) accept defeat. He searched the entire board again and again. Finally he said "What does it mean if my name is scheduled for an interview on April 6?"

Both their names were on the list to of applicants to be interviewed, a list which we didn't see before. So there. Their hopes and dreams of getting into law school haven't actually ended. And on our way out, I pulled Lou to one side and said to her "They probably did well on the test but Ateneo has some reservations about them, probably their college grades."

Some stupid teen age mistake from ten years ago has come back to bite my bro on the ass. I mean, after college he has been one of the best branch managers in RCBC and if i remember the stories he told me correctly (which I never really cared to listen to) he was one of the youngest branch managers. And yet here it was again, his college grades, back with a vengeance. Hahaha...

At dinner, I commented "At least I realized something. Alphie really wants to get into Law School that's why he tried really hard to find his name on that board. And you, well, I just think it's a reason not to work again."

My bro smiled at me and said "First, you know nothing ever affects me. And second, there is this prayer from Days with the Lord (Ateneo HS retreat) I use. And it goes Dearest Lord, help me to remember that there is nothing in this world that can happen to me that You and I together can not handle."

My bro was never the religious type and that statement coming from him silenced me. Religion is really a one to one relationship which no outsider can understand. What's more, I used to love the prayer he just said. It was my mantra my high school life and half of college. And for some reason, I forgot about it.

I am happy at the day's end. I realized that I still don't know my bro after a year of hanging out. I hope to get glimpses like this into his mind every now and then because what I saw shocked me. And I remembered a very good prayer which I forgot.

I hope most days are like this.

(and for those who don't understand the title... nevermind)

almost ten years later

2006-03-29T14:22:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling crappy since the other night. Ever since that drunken phone call I got. I just not have been in a good mood. This is the time when close friends know to stay the hell away from me otherwise they would be on the receiving end of a hissy fit.

Last night, I was in my worst possible state. I didn't want to bother my friends to vent my imaginary problems. They were either to far away to do any real good, or probably too busy with work and stuff. So I did what any stupid guy would do, I called up an ex girlfriend.

After a forty minute drive, there we were, having dinner at Burger King. All we did was talk. I drove her home, hang out for another thirty minutes or so, then decided to go out for a couple of beer. Four bottles and two packs of cigarettes later, we were back at her front door. I hugged her good night and went on my way (were you expecting some sleazy porn story? hahaha).

I'm just so happy about our friendship. After a very soap operatic (is that even a word?!) break up, at least we can still sit down, hang out and talk. She has become one of my closest friends. We can tell each other everything, things that we don't even tell other people, things better left unsaid.

I'm just happy that almost ten years ago,we made the stupid mistake of being a couple. We may not have worked things out the way we wanted it to back then, but without that relationship we had, I don't think we would have this special friendship we have now.

Thank God for stupid mistakes!

little white world shaking lies

2006-03-28T17:14:00.000+08:00

Some people have little to no capabilities at lying and when confronted, they have the nerve to deny it. Hello?! It's as plain and obvious as Pinocchio's nose and yet you still deny it. Well maybe I just know you too well and the very intonation of your voice and wording you choose makes it extremely obvious to me.

And it was an inconsequential topic at the very best, nothing that would shake the foundations of reality. Just a little white lie. But it hit a nerve. I have no idea why. It just hit a nerve. Oh well.

They say little white lies are harmless. You should hope it is because up to now, I'm still pissed.

speechless

2006-03-22T20:24:00.000+08:00

I have started like a million blog entries over the past two days, reached the middle of the entry then scrapped the whole thing. My head has been spinning ever since that text message I received last Thursday bu over the course of the last five days, I haven't been able to focus on a single train of thought.

I said a million things specially over the weekend, which in my opinion has been more than blog worthy but then I realized somethings are better written in this blog while others are better left to the silent ears of the cigarette butts sitting on my ash tray and the C2 bottles scattered on my bedroom floor as I once again go through another sleepless overnight with close friends. (So I'm sorry Busy Boy Ginoboy, no blog entry for your requested topic hehehe).

This entry is just to remind the world I'm still alive, speechless but alive. Maybe in a few days I'll be able to think straight and blog once again but as it is, this is the best possible entry I can come up with.

ultra electro magnetic crap

2006-03-15T09:31:00.000+08:00

I was watching some weird cartoon last night. I hink the title was Yugi-oh but I'm not too sure. It was some tv show about people battling Magic: The Gathering style. They used cards with special abilities. The weird thing about the cartoon was the characters explained to their opponents their cards, what they did and what the monsters they summoned did.

Whatever happened to surprising your enemy?

Take for example Voltes V. Steve screams at the top of his lungs, Ultra electro magnetic top. First of all, is Voltes V voice activated? If he doesn't scream that, will it not use that weapon? Second, do the enemies hear whatever he is saying? Or even his team mates for that matter. Third, can't he scream Voltes Bazooka then pull out his chain knuckles to surprise his enemy? Or can he just say, Ultra Electro Magnetic Whip and then pull out the Laser Sword?Does screaming what he is about to do help him in anyway?

Come to think of it, most if not all Anime super heroes do it. Sailor Moon yells, hmmmm I can't think of what she says. But the others say "Soap Bubble Spray" (what is up with Sailor Mercury's power? I mean does she clean the enemy to death?) or Venus Love Me Chain (whoah... another incredible power hehehe) and then an incredibly looong video takes place where she sets up what ever she is about to do. And what is the enemy doing during this time? Staring at them, waiting for the heroes to finish them off.

What would happen if I use this ideology of screaming everything I am about to do? I would go to the munisipyo and scream, "Irerecruit namin si Bernie sa partido namin" or "lilipat ako sa partido ni Mayor."

That would be fun. And then after declaring what political maneuvering I am about to do, I could pose there a few seconds. Hehehe.

Cartoons make no sense.

matter of perspective and other toxic stuff

2006-03-14T02:10:00.000+08:00

For some weird reason, this has been my cellphone wall paper for some time now (since I took the pic). I know it's a weird picture. Can't actually make ou what it is. Some think it's a car wheel. Or a random picture I downloaded from the internet.

It's actually the inside of a C2 bottle held up against the bluish violet light of the mosquito killer in my bro's room.

It just reminds me that everything is a matter of perspective. Looking at things from a different point of view changes how you see everything.

-oOo-

Today was my first executive-legislative meeting. The agenda was the supposed toxic dumpsite which was exposed a year ago by an ex employee of the company. Last March 4, ABS-CBN revisited the issue thus we need to reevaluate the actions the municipality has taken to prove or disprove the allegations.

A lot of questions were thrown to the Mayor during the meeting. And as I listened intently to his answers, it reminded me of a Miss Universe beauty pageant. Sure sure. World peace is a very good answer. But do contestant really want that if they got one wish. I would bet half of them would really want a new car, or a new house or something shallow and materialistic. But that wouldn't win them the crown.

Just like the mayor could give the actually answers to the questions but nobody would like them. I have just devolved public service into a beauty pageant.

exodus

2006-03-06T18:51:00.000+08:00

One of the things I feared most in this political chess game has happened. Due to lack of leadership from our titular head, our people, our supporters, our voters, have started a mass exit onto the open and awaiting arms of the other party.

First, three of my running mates had supposedly shifted allegiances during the last two years. Now a fourth has expressed his intent to change parties. And as a final act of desperation, the higher ups of my party is attempting to negotiate a coallition to save our dying party.

Come to think of it, I suggested that coallition a month or two after I won and they dismissed it as something less than probable to happen, and now they are lobbying for it to save their asses. I suddenly feel so under appreciated.

So is it time for my own exodus to begin?

Hmmm... I'm starting to like biblical titles :D

genesis

2006-03-02T06:36:00.000+08:00

It has started. Without my knowledge, my Uncle has been doing negotiations with the Mayor for me to shift political parties. I expected it any day now, and I am here at the beginning of a new chapter in my political life. This is a turning point. This is the crux of the next three years of my life.

Last night, they called on me. And they shared the secrets they held for the next political bout. They laid their arms, their plans, their weaponry for the next melee. And I sat there, listening to every word they said. I had inside information on every plan they made, in the strategies they devised, on the thought process they went through. I dared not say anything. I never confirmed I was a part of them, nor did I deny anything. I let them think what they wanted to.

I wanted to speak, and yet I knew, in this case, silence was golden. My silence was precious. For as I sat there saying nothing, I learned things I would never find out in a million years. So I sat there, smiling my Mona Lisa smile. For I knew something that only I knew, a secret. I wasn't one of them.

But all this maybe for naught. I maybe one of them soon. I may not. Everything is still up in the air. Everything is still being talked over, negotiated.

I don't claim to be of any importance to them or anybody else. I am a pawn in this game, easily disposable, used in gambits, of no real value, just another pawn. I have to wait, inch my way closer and closer in this political chess game. And when I at last touch the base line and turn myself into something of far greater value (say a bishop or knight or rook) then it is time to make my move. Shah mat.

Chess is a game of logic. And so is politics. I know I can think this through. Gambits can be made. If they pay off, you gain leverage. Let's just see. Hopefully I can play this right.

throwing my tantrums

2006-02-28T02:40:00.000+08:00

I enjoy watching those cliche teeny bopper films where the boy bets with his friends that he can make any girl fall in love with him, they spot a girl who is supposedly ugly but actually very pretty, he befriends her, she is shocked by the attention and doesn't trust him but they fall in love anyway, and then she finds out about the bet and goes ballistic but they end up together anyway. Pretty much nothing left to the imagination. Everything has been mapped out by generations of writers working off the same plot line, incorporating a few new ideas of their own and passing it off as a new movie.

Anyway, for the longest time, I have been wondering why a co-councilor has been befriending me. He would call me, tell me to meet him at some place because it was this persons birthday and he was invited and he wanted to introduce me to them. Or he would say there was this dead guy at this place, and we would drop by to share out condolences. Stuff like that. I just found it weird.

So for a year and a half, I have been wondering why that co-councilor was befriending me. Until finally, a little after lunch, one of the munisipyo staff approached me. He said, everybody knew about the negotiation that was happening between me and the mayor. And apparently, the ploy to befriend me by the co-councilor in order for me to shift allegiances worked. And according to him, it was done under the Mayor's directive.

So is that it? He was trying to be my friend just to get me to switch parties. Suddenly, a year and a half of friendship seems so empty. I know, I know. The girl throws a tantrum, but eventually still falls for the guy.

So I am just throwing my tantrums now, get it out of the way. It just seems to me that everything is politically motivated in my world. Nothing, not even friendship, is sacred.

So after throwing my tantrum, am I supposed to run into their parties arms and shift allegiances. I don't wanna be another cliche movie. But I also don't want to eat my words later. So I'm pissed, that's it. After I cool down, let's just see what happens.

a week of work crap

2006-02-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

Time for work angst again. I promised myself less of this crap but I got pissed, bad, three times this week on three very different times so I just have to vent.

Story One: Promil Kids, not!!!

I am working with a couple of people who I just don't understand. No, don't get me wrong here. I learned a lot from them about being a councilor and all, but... but... it's just... the way they think as a group is beyond me. Maybe I still need a little more experience being a councilor to get into their decision making process.

Background story. We didn't receive the IRA for 2000-2001 so Gloria is now offering two payment schemes so that LGUs will get their share. First one, we receive it now less 39% (why, I am just not sure). Second scheme, they pay it installment basis over the next 7 years (in full).

Thirty nine percent is big. That is like Php 1.7 million. After a discussion (which I believe nobody even cared to listen to), we took a vote. Seven vs. one. Wow. What a shocker!!! I used arguments like, "this is the adult version of the classic marshmallow test" and "we have loaned almost Php 20 million from the bank and this is probably one way to leave future leaders of our town a way to pay for the debt we made."

Again I am at a losing end of a seemingly very obvious decision we have to make. Drains the life out of people. Oh well. That was Monday.

Story 2: Boy Abunda strikes again

Well this story still started last Monday. Lou and I visited the Mayor to get him as Ninong for our upcoming wedding. I have served under him for almosttwo years now, we may not have spoken more than 5 sentences to each other since we started working together and I may not have liked (actually, not liked is passive, i actually HATED) 95% of the speeches he made, but still, I think it would be common courtesy to get him as a ninong.

So anyway, we bought him a cake, dropped by the munisipyo and talked to him for like 3 minutes (which I think is the longest time I talked to him). He told me he would cancel his trip to Israel just to attend my wedding. Sure sure... Whatever.

By Wednesday, it was public knowledge that I had changed political parties after that social visit. I mean, duh?! I also got the Vice Mayor and a co-councilor as Ninongs and Ninangs. Give color to that too, please. That would be funny. Oh well.

I don't want to lay blame the Mayor on this one. It's nowhere near his fault. But it just feels crappy nonetheless that people give meaning to every single thing you do, no matter how mundane it seems. Oh well. That was Wednesday.

Story 3: Committee on Crap

The munisipyo staff texted me earlier. I had an eleven o'clock meeting regarding hmmm... I don't even know. Some e-Center crap I think. I told them I didn't get an invite (which is mandatory by the way) so I wasn't coming. And the reply "Konsehal, ikaw ang chair ng lead committee na mag-iimbistiga. Dapat nandito ka."

Whoah!!! I have been waiting for this time my entire councilor life, to actually call a meeting. They have given me crappy committees to head like the Committee on Information Technology (well, if they didn't give me this one, that would confirm they have an IQ of a snail) and Committee on Women and Family. I was asking for Tourism and the Arts or maybe Public Utilities, but those were high profile committees and the publicity I would get heading that committee would be a political disaster in the making on their part. So I got crappy committees which don't have issues. Oh well.

Anyway, what pissed me off was I was waiting to call a committee meeting for like forever and the first one they tagged me as calling, I didn't even call. And if I called the meeting, I would have set the time. And as my friends know, 11:00 AM is waaaaay too early. Hahahaha.

I missed my meeting, intentionally. I ws ready to go anyway, but I decided to miss it. I never called the meeting so I was never lead committee. They should know that. And that was Thursday.

Crap crap crap. Work is crap. I hope the weekend turns out better.

getting into people's minds

2006-02-22T02:33:00.000+08:00

I have this friend, well not really friend. I get to talk to her once in a while, casual stuff. A little above "how are you doing?" and "how's the weather?" Nothing really serious, nothing personal. Nothing on love life and family crap and stuff. I don't even have her number in my cell. She's just a little above an acquaintance (though I don't wanna think she is).

I love her blog though. It's not the typical, I woke up 7 am this morning, had breakfast, worked til lunch, ate at McDo, worked til 5, watched tv the whole night, went to sleep 10 pm. It had insights to what she thought of her everyday life.

Anyway, earlier this evening (or late afternoon), I saw her YM status was a johari window so I decided to answer it just based on her blog. I only got 2 of 6 (though I still wanna contest that you are sentimental and reflective more than you are shy and nervous hahaha).

It was just amazing (well not really amazing but for lack of a better term, I'll use amazing) that you could actually get to know a person just by reading their blog. You can actually get into their minds, but of course just the parts of themselves they wanna share with the world. Helps you understand people you never really cared about. One more reason to keep on blogging.

Here's to getting to know you a little better.

countdown

2006-02-16T02:07:00.000+08:00

I saw this (or something like it) at Harvee and Joyce's website and I thought to myself that I would wanna make one of my own to remind me (as if I need reminding) of the big day. Let's see if it actually works.

hiatus

2006-02-15T04:42:00.000+08:00

I tried accessing my Friendster Blog again earlier. Magically, it worked. For no apparent reason. Hmpf. Quirks of life and technology. Now I don't know which one to maintain. Do I maintain my very first blog which led me to falling in love with blogging or do I maintain my blog which contains the most life changing thing I have ever done in my entire life?

Let's just wait and see...

red with envy

2006-02-14T03:48:00.000+08:00

No this isn't a valentine entry. Today is just another day. Same old, same old. yeah, I'm this bitter considering I have a loved one to share it with. Just never believed in Valentines. Its just another excuse Hallmark made up to sell their greeting cards.

Anyway, I was soooo not in the mood to attend the session earlier. The topics for discussion included approving a 10M+ loan for the computerization of the municipality. The programmer in me wanted to approve the loan. All in favor for technological advancement. It was high time and now was the perfect opportunity since I would be able to oversee it every step of the way.But the legislator in me realized that we were seriously throwing our municipality into debt. We still haven't paid up the loan for the market (which was made waaaay before my term) and we had another loan pending to support the new dumpsite we were setting up. Torn between my two worlds, I didn't want to make a decision on which world I favored. Cutting work would save me from that.

So I woke up like 1:30 PM for my 1:30 meeting. Hahaha. told you I was always late. It took me ten minutes to wear a sock (and I mean a sock, not even both of them). I was stalling hoping by the time I got there, that topic would have been over and I didn't have to decide.

But when I got there, I suddenly lost all care about the loan. They were all wearing red. Each and every councilor was wearing red. Hmmm, nobody told me to wear red. But it was the municipality's uniform. I still didn't mind. They gave me my clothing allowance last week. Maybe everyone else just decided to have a uniform made from the clothing allowance they received. And since I didn't, my fault. And come to think of it, if i even considered to order the uniform, it would probably have been locked in my closet for the rest of eternity. It would never see the outside world, just like the black Cursor shirt I ordered with the words "Stop staring I know I'm sexy" printed on the front.

I went up to the SB secretary during a recess. "Sana ako din pinagawan nyo ng uniporme para di naman ako mukhang inapi dito." I was still kidding around.

And the most beautiful reply in the world came "Si mayor ang nagpagawa nyan. Binigyan nya sila lahat. Di ka ba nya binigyan?"

Wow! I wasn't actually red with envy (i know it's green with envy but the shirt was red and well i was red with anger not green with envy hehehe). I didn't like the uniform and I didn't even plan to wear it if I was given one. But hell. To be actually overlooked in this situation. Makes my head ache (Well actually I had a head ache the rest of the day but probably not from that). Some things never change. And some people can never see beyond partisan politics. Haaaay.

I totally lost my focus during the rest of the meeting. Didn't even care to object or second the loan. At least it got me out of making a decision.

happiness seeps through

2006-02-13T01:11:00.000+08:00

Again on happiness (well not really, my last entry on happiness was on my Friendster blog so that doesn't really count).

Happiness seeps through no matter how hard you try to hide it. It seeps through the lingering glances you give when you think noone is looking, through your trembling hands you have over stuff that is practically mundane. It seeps through the skips and the hops and the jumps that you do when none is actually required. It seeps through the arm movements and the gestures you do over stupid stuff. It seeps through the songs you sing for no apparent reason to people who you dont think are even listening.

I hope you stay happy quite a bit longer. Well until June 24 at least hahaha...

staring at batman

2006-02-10T01:00:00.000+08:00

I was watching tv earlier, Cartoon Network. The usual superhero junk I love. Static Shock, Justice League, X-men Evolution, Batman. Anyway, Batman was talking to Commissioner Gordon (as always). And while the commissioner was talking, Batman vanished, again.

I mean, why does he ever turn his back on Batman knowing that at some point during the conversation, Batman will suddenly vanish. I mean Batman has done that for the past decade or so. The Commissioner should learn from his mistakes. Always look Batman in the eye while talking to him to avoid the sudden shock (I also don't get why he still gets shocked) that he is alone in the room, talking to himself. Stare at him. Is it that hard to look at the person you are talking to?

Are we really that in capable (some more than others) of learning from our mistakes? I mean, even Superman with his super heightened sense of hearing turns around while talking to Batman and doesn't hear him leave in the middle of their discussion. He can hear a scream for help a mile away but he can't hear someone leaving the room behind him. Duh?!

Maybe Batman really has the superpower to absorb the sound around him so that no one hears him come or go. Or maybe, I should stop watching cartoons and do something a lot more productive with my time than being a couch potato. Hahaha. Oh well. Just thinking out loud.

At least I am no longer ranting about wedding preparations or my job. This is something new. Because by next week or so, this blog will be over run by wedding crap. So enjoy non wedding related stuff from me while you still can.

decisions decisions

2006-02-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

The time has come to make the first major decision for my wedding, reception venue. We have three choices as of the moment, Manila East Clubhouse, a ballroom in East Ridge and a vacant lot that my aunt rents out for weddings and stuff.

I love the ballroom in East Ridge. It has a very scenic view of Angono and if I can't have the classy and elegant wedding I always dreamed I would give my bride-to-be, this is what comes closest to what I pictured. Problem is, it's like 4 km away from the town and the road that leads to it is long and winding not to mention uphill. And the road seems to be a perfect setting for the taping of Blair Witch Angono. Hahaha.

The Manila East Clubhouse is along the major road. It's not that spectacular but its cheaper and a lot easier to reach. It has a bigger capacity than East Ridge. But it just isn't pretty and classy enough for my taste.

And the vacant lot we so fondly call Julia Marcela. I had my birthday party there last July. Hmmmm... How do I describe this place? To put it simply, if I were invited to attend a wedding reception there as a guest, I wouldn't even consider coming. Hehehe...

Both set of parents like Julia Marcela. My mom and dad's main consideration is the guest list. They seem to want to invite the whole town to the reception. Guests arrive, eat then leave. And I wouldn't even know half of the people who arrive. Jologs wedding of the year. Ughhhh... So to make things a little more acceptable to me, my dad offered me 300K and a trip to the US if we have the reception at Julia Marcela. After playing a ten minute version of pera o bayong, it became a trip to Europe for the honeymoon. Hmmmm...

On a side note, as of 8 PM yesterday, I was leaning towards accepting the jologs wedding and the trip to Europe. But I talked to a friend and he made me realize that that decision wasn't me. He said he knew I always wanted the best for me, my friends and Lou, specially Lou. And that jologs wedding wouldn't fit in anything he envisioned me in. A two minute talk changed my entire point of view.

I wouldn't get bribed into something I never really wanted. I have always stood by what I believed in. And I have had 2 years of practice standing alone for what I believe is right. So maybe I should just put all that experience to good use.

I just wanna put my foot down and declare that I want the reception at East Ridge. But I can't. I don't think I should make a decision alone. And, If i remember correctly, I said, none of my dreams matter in this case. Everything I will be doing will be for Lou. So if she wants to have it at Manila East, then Manila East it is. Europe will still be there in 2008. I will have a million other opportunities to visit it. And hopefully this will be the first and last wedding I will have so I don't plan to compromise it in anyway.

I wish life were simple again and decisions were limited to what I would wear today and what will I have for lunch. Ughhh... I was never good at decision making. Oh well. The next 4 1/2 months will be full of them. Should start getting used to it.

a day for shane

2006-02-05T21:29:00.000+08:00

I attended Lou's supposed confirmation earlier along with her mom and her chosen ninong and ninang (names witheld to protect the identity of the chosen two hehehe). That was the better part of the morning. In the afternoon, we went hunting for possible reception venues. Long, tiring day (no, I don't plan to describe my day to day life in my blog. I still prefer to describe my day to day thoughts).

Anyway, I was with Lou, her mom, her sister and my parents the whole afternoon. I DIDN'T GET TO SMOKE THE ENTIRE FREAKING TIME!!! Hahaha... What a rant. I average about two packs a day (around 40 sticks). Given i'm awake only 16 hours day, I smoke a cigarette once every 24 minutes.

I missed a total of 34 cigarettes today. And weirdly enough, it wasn't that bad. I wasn't like thinking about it every single minute of the day. I didn't even notice. Maybe, I dont really need to smoke (hmmmm... nope, don't think so. I already smoked 4 sticks in the last hour. Making up for lost time hahaha).

Anyway, this day is dedicated to Shane of Survivor: Panama. He smokes three packs a day and now he is detoxing in a deserted island. He is thinking of quitting Survivor just to get a smoke. I hope he lasts long. I hope he wins. A toast to the smokers of the world.

fetal attraction

2006-01-31T16:58:00.000+08:00

I had a ton of errands to run today. Reserve the church, reserve the reception venue, get cable for the other house, etc. After running all my errands, I decided to pass by a friend who i heard just got pregnant. We hadn't had the time to swap stories about her pregnancy and my engagement and this would be the perfect time for that.

Turned out she had a miscarriage the week before (it took me forever but i finally figured out the english word for "nakunan" hehehe). So we ended up discussing my engagement and her operation to get the rest of the baby out. And then she asked me if I would wanna see the fetus.

Would you actually wanna see a dead fetus (stored in a gerber bottle)? Would you wanna see something that died inside of someone? Would you wanna see something from which nightmares, horror stories and bad dreams are made of? Ughhhh... Just the thought gives me the creeps and ye,t ironically, i said yes.

I looked at it from a safe distance (as if it were gonna return to life and bite me). It looked like a bean in a thin red sauce. A big bean. Actually, I didn't stare, I couldn't stare. Something was pushing me away from it. I looked for like two seconds and waved it away. I just satisfied my curiousity. But still the idea. Ughhhh...

After seeing the bottle, I lost my appetite for dinner. Still gives me the creeps thinking about it. I hope I don't dream of it tonight.

meet the parents

2006-01-29T22:42:00.000+08:00

We had a family dinner at le souffle earlier. First family dinner in so and so months (or years. i can't remember). My dad, mom, bro and me when out to dinner so that my parents could meet lou's mom and her sister to talk about wedding details.

I was expecting something horribly wrong to take place. Something disastrous along the lines of "Meet the Parents." But it just turned out to be a quiet family dinner. Little was actually said about the wedding. All that was said was we had a free reign on whatever decision we wanna make.

Now that we got that out of the way, it's time to prepare. The next few months will be hell. I hope I survive.

millions for bantay bata

2006-01-27T05:24:00.000+08:00

Last June, I gave a very important privelege speech during our Sangguniang Bayan session. It was about the baranggay clearance being requested by a high school here in Angono. Point one of my speech was, the baranggay clearance being requested was from Baranggay Kalayaan (where the school was). That didn't make sense. How could a baranggay clear you of any wrong doings if you didn't live there? How would a baranggay in Quezon City know if I would have had a criminal record. Didn't make sense. Second point, I don't think, baranggay clearances are applicable to minors. Third point, they didn't issue out receipts to whoever asked for the clearance. That was like P50,000 easy, unaccounted for money extremely prone to corruption.

Six months later, the committee report surfaced. According to it, since the money was a donation, it didn't require a receipt. Hmmmm... Let me think. You can not enrol without one and yet you can label it as a donation?! I never knew donations were mandatory. Damn! And to make things worse, it was shown in the committee report that I signed it. I agreed that it was a contribution and it didn't require a receipt. What the fuck?!

It's just so upsetting to think that all this work and vigilance towards corruption will end because of a legal loop hole. Makes you feel sick, and hopeless and disillusioned. Makes you feel that maybe, there is really no hope for Philippine politics. Depressing.

And on a side note, the Baranggay Captain of that said baranggay screamed at me for giving the speech. He said something to the effect of "Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap magpatakbo ng isang baranggay?" Yeah, apparently I dont. And he does. And if he is not up for it, I could give you fifty names of people who are willing to take your place. So if he is having a hard time, step aside. If he isn't up for it, step aside. Don't give me excuses that what he is attempting is for the common good. I never believed that the ends justify the means.

Life has made me bitter and cynical. I just hope that Bantay Bata and other charitable institutions learn a lesson from all this crap and impose a mandatory donation from everyone to further their cause.

my problem

2006-01-24T18:14:00.000+08:00

Apparently, Friendster blogs are fine. It's just me. I can't access the site, I can't update my blog, I can't view other people's blogs. My problem, not theirs.

So something that was planned to be temporary will become permanent. I never planned to make this my permanent blog. My other blog had my heart and soul in it. The interface and content were designed for my taste. And now it's all gone.

It's like working from square one. Back to the drawing board. Start from scratch.

So I would just like to welcome myself to the Blogspot family. It looks like I'll be here to stay.

creating heroes

2006-01-22T15:10:00.002+08:00

I was never a big fan of boxing. And hopefully I never will be. I don't get what kind of joy you can derive out of watching two people hitting each other senseless. Why give them gloves that pad the blows? Why not just give them baseball bats or lead pipes. Why wait 10 or 11 or 12 rounds for them to batter each other when they can have a sufficient weapon to end things in a matter of three minutes or less? During medieval times, they had swords and lances and maces and what have you. Can't we just do that again? Hahahaha...

And yet, I watched all ten rounds of the Morales-Pacquiao match. Ten rounds that recreated the hero status of Manny Pacquiao.

Looking at their battered faces after the match makes me shudder. Are we that barbaric? Do we enjoy in the pain and suffering of others?

And national pride?! HAH!!! Should we actually be proud that a Filipino can beat a guy from some other country senseless. Should we be proud that we hit harder and can take more blows than they do? Actually we are. So there. End of discussion. Hehehe.

Maybe boxing isn't just for me. Maybe I just don't see the bigger picture. I don't see the glory and the pride that comes with winning in boxing. The winners are now celebrating the victory. And the loser is in the hospital emergency room. Oh well!

ever after

2006-01-22T01:59:00.000+08:00

I would always kid around with lou about proposing. I would sometimes propose to her in the car using a puzzle ring i gave her last May. And I would say crap like "I never thought I would be so lucky. As to fall in love with my bestfriend" (taken from Monica's proposal to Chandler Friends Season 6 episode 24)" or "Life is complicated and hard to understand like this ring but I know together, we can figure it out" or some other crappy, cheesy line I could think of at that moment. We would then laugh. And actually, that was one of my biggest hang ups about proposing. I didn't think I could pull it off without laughing at all.

At times, I would have a heart felt discussion with her about getting married and having a family. And I would then ask her if she realizes how lazy I am and probably be too lazy to propose and it would be best if she did all the arrangements and I would just show up and propose. And she would act all surprised and teary eyed. Hehehe...

On to my real story. Once upon a time (all good stories should begin with once upon a time) in a land far far away (Angono is far far away if you think about it). Hmmmm... Anyway, one friday, I asked lou out and watch a magic show. The magic show was fine, blah blah blah. Usual cut the person in half trick and all that shit. I would wanna say when we got home, there were flowers everywhere and a splendid candle-light dinner for two at the table waiting for us. But no one would believe me. Everyone knows how anti-romantic I am. That kind of story wouldn't be anywhere close to realistic.

We went home, played a few games of billiards and then I asked her to go into the room with me coz it was hot and I wanted to turn on the air con (no this isn't an erotic novel hehehe). So there we were, alone at last (again, no, this isn't an erotic novel hehehe). She sat at the edge of the bed, I sat on the floor by her feet. I took her hand and removed her puzzle ring. Again with the cheesy proposal. If I can remember it right, I used the Joey proposal (Friends Season 8 episode 2 -- yeah yeah, i know... 100% certified friends fanatic here). "It’s a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Y’know, now I always thought you and I had a special bond..." Lou started to laugh. I pushed her so she was lying flat on the bed (still not an erotic story geeez). All this time I was trying to fish out the other ring from my pocket. I kept one eye on her making sure she didn't sit up or see what I was doing. And when I had the ring in my hand, I waited. Finally, she sat up again, and there I was, kneeling by her knees and me holding the real engagement ring in my hand. "Lou, sawa na tayo magpractice sa singsing na yan, pwede ito naman gamitin natin." She froze.

"I thought that it mattered where I proposed, when I proposed or how I proposed but I realized that the only thing that mattered was you said yes. I wanted to propose since Feb last year but I couldn't. There were a million dreams I wanted to fulfill first, a million goals I wanted to achieve, a million things I wanted to do before I settled down. I had a lot of things that I wanted to do that didn't involve you. Then I realized, none of them mattered if I lost you in the process. I wanted to become vice mayor, to become mayor and all that except that would take some time and that wouldn't matter if we broke up along the way, because I knew, I would be doing all that for you. So Lou, will you marry me?"

Lou was still frozen, Her hands suddenly became ice cold. Recounting the events, Lou said she said yes right away. But I knew better. For one or two seconds she just sat there and looked at me. She started to answer but she faltered and was silent again. It took an eternity for her to finally say yes.

There are a million events that happened after, including a walk out from me (she had the wedding date planned out waaaaay before I even proposed... who wouldn't walk out?! hehehe). We sat there, calling friends to tell them the news. We just sat there, not wanting to leave the room. We knew that once we stepped out the door, all this would be real. We would be getting married soon. While we were there, only the two of us, it was just a dream, a dream we were both having. Everything was surreal. Everything was hazy. Everything was perfect.

But at some point, we had two walk out the door and return to the real world. And we did, holding hands as we crossed the threshold back to reality.

I wanna end the story with "and we lived happily ever after." But I can't. I know that there will be troubles that come our way but i know whatever troubles arise, we will work it out. But happily ever after? That's for fairy tales. And this one is real.

hello world redux

2006-01-21T04:40:00.000+08:00

I wrote my first blog entry sometime ago in Friendster Blogs. I fell in love with the idea of sharing your thoughts and ideas to readers who you don't really know. Readers that don't know the real you. What you think, what you aspire to be, what day to day struggles and joys you go through. Readers you never knew cared about you. That was my friendster blog.

Problem was, Friendster Blog wasn't that stable. It has been down for four days or so. Four days of attempting to log in and write a post. Four days of getting frustrated everytime I attempt to open that blog. Maybe they are restructuring it or something. Maybe they are putting a ton of new features. Maybe... a million maybes. But I have grown tired of waiting for a maybe that may never be. And my thoughts want to vent. So here I am, once again creating another first entry into a new blogging life. Hopefully this one turns out better than the first one.